last monday, my day off, i had a few errands to run and todd wanted to chill out at home, so i headed out to the car for a couple hours of me time.  upon approach, i realized that my car had been completely bombed by some kind of miserable bird.  there was poop everywhere!  kind of embarrassing...

i need a fill up anyway, and since i was headed to disney to do some paperwork for my new position i decided to stop at the hess station on property.  they have one of those drive through car washes, and i chose the premium option at the pump, thinking that i didn't mind splurging an extra $2 for all the colorful foam that sprays out.  aftering filling up, my receipt didn't print so i had to wait in a long line inside for a copy.  after obtaining my carwash code i preceeded to the carwash....

i drove inside.  it was a little bit scary and ghetto.  i put my car in neutral like it asked.  i sat.  i listened to music.  i delete old voicemails.  and then i realize that the carwash has stopped.  mid wash.  there is a long hose dangling in front of me that i can only assume came loose at some point, and there was that dang pink, blue, and yellow foam dripping on the ground.  my car is covered in suds.  i sit for about 5 mintues thinking maybe there was a powersurge or something and someone will come out and help.  i look at my receipt thinking that maybe there is a phone number for the hess station so i can call someone to help me, but alas, there is not.  i decided to call my brother lane because i knew he was on summer break and probably not really doing anything, so he could google this hess station and give me their phone number, but alas i wasn't getting any reception in the carwash.  after about 10 minutes i start getting really nervous.  i don't want to get out of my car lest some mechanical part kills or injures me, and i don't want to drive out lest i break something.  i weigh those 2 options carefully and decide that breakage is better than death, so i drive straight out, trying unsuccessfully to dodge the hanging hose.  but this hose, my friends, is not just a regular hose.  this hose has a large hook on the end that proceeds to scratch my car from hood to trunk.  one big, long, ugly scratch.  and a bent windshield wiper 

i run inside to get a manager, who i find out is out of town until next week, but they take lots of pictures of my car and offer me a free car wash for next time.  yeah right!  i'm never going in that terrible car wash again!!

the icing on the cake--i pulled up to a pump to use a squeegee to get the soap residue off my windshield and there are NO squeegees in the whole place.  NONE. 

i gave an exasperated phone call to patrick, who's hilarity made me laugh and called me down.  then i called progressive, who are AWESOME, and they made me feel tons better.  i have sweet relief just to know that i will not be stuck in that carwash forever.